Pleasures and Ponderings

Saturday, March 24, 2012

What It's Like to Be Incapacitated

I broke my wrist March 8, a date I'm likely to remember. Two weeks later, I'm often grateful that this is temporary. I prefer to put out to the Universe I am healing, I am cared for, I am peaceful, rather than focus on what isn't working. And when I shower (left arm in plastic) or tie both shoes or successfully get dressed or undressed on my own, I feel good! I haven't figured out how one hand can put on a bra yet, or cut raw meat, or easily sort and organize. And I'm pretty sure that if one of the two men I met recently (and liked!) from my craigs list ad wants to be lovers that I may have really mixed feelings about that till my cast is off. Just think about that for a minute!

What other observations have I noticed these two weeks? I've learned to walk slowly and look around very carefully, lest I trip over anything else. It's been a learning experience for this woman who's used to go go go and do do do. Friends have been very helpful, with house chores, meals and personal needs. And still, I remember feeling pride when I managed to scrub the dish drainer tray with one hand. And now I can pull lids off leftovers and heat them. Who'd have thought there'd be a day I'd even notice the tasks I do so automatically.

A highlight this past half month was a trip to Dairy Queen. I love their Blizzards, and through March 31, a 2nd Blizzard cost only 99 cents. So friend Pam and I enjoyed our ice cream while she shared notes from A Course in Miracles workshop I'd missed. Part of the added joy was remembering the next day that I had the 2nd Blizzard in my freezer. I scampered downstairs and even saved 1/2 for a 3rd treat another day.

Thursday I was at my weekly writers group that meets 1-2:30 at Uptown Espresso, grateful it was my left wrist that is unusable. I wrote this piece and an Ode to Char and Dejon, to the tune of Amazing Grace, for their amazing friendship, including washing my hair, sitting with me in the Emergency Room, organizing my bedroom and even recycling boxes of unsorted paper that I had not yet had the will power to let go of. And I celebrated quelling my desire to be productive, at least Mon. to Friday, on the day I went to their place and watched three movies.

I had a pest problem also that was dealt with during this month, including having 20 large bags with fumigation strips left at room temperature in the dining and living room, not to be touched for 14 days. Hey, I LIKE 2-for-1s, but only when it's meals or entertainment. THIS 2-for-1 holds me down, including having accessible only ONE pair of shoes for anywhere I go till the heavy bags are opened March 28. (My oversight, and I can handle some embarrassment, so I can deal with it.)

I'm grateful I've been able to go with the flow, propping up my arm when I watch TV, keeping the left hand and arm dry, receiving help even on the street, when my scarf or shoelaces need to be tied again.

This morning I read a quote suggesting that action leads to inspiration, not waiting for inspiration to get me into action. So I did my marketing calls and felt good about the contacts I made and the potential Compassionate Communication workshops.

What have I learned for when the cast is off? To be in the moment, conscious, present. I'm also working on the Buddhist guidelines I just learned: limitless kindness, limitless compassion, limitless joy, and limitless equanimity. If it's true that resistance to what is causes suffering, I should be in a pretty good emotional place.

Are there any advantages to being incapacitated?. Well, it's easier to accept assistance when I know I'm doing my best. I hope my greater awareness of my environment will serve me toward greater safety and Presence. I'd love if my contentment with doing what IS possible and easy would carry over, and lower my self-expectations to what IS reasonable and comfortable.

My Inner Critic has been given time off, and I hope she'll stay on leave for a long time. Perhaps I'll be wise enough to focus on what is important in the long run, and let other things take their place on my "if there is time" list. Hm, what might you do, short of injuring yourself, to slow down as I've been forced to do, and learn whatever there is for you to learn?

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