Pleasures and Ponderings

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

Pleasures and Ponderings #1

I'd love to connect with people who see pleasure as a viable spiritual practice, valid just as prayer and meditation are. (This is corroborated, I believe, by the Dalai Lama's declaration that the purpose of life is to be happy. )

I'm a Life Coach, a relationship columnist, and a Nonviolent Communication trainer, and believe that when people make themselves happy, they have much more to offer the world.

I came up with 340 words (through thesaurus and other searches) that I associate with pleasure. (Email me if you’d like the list). I also created "Eleven Guidelines for Pursuing Pleasure." My first one is
"Grab your pleasure when and where it shows up." This doesn't mean taking advantage of another under any circumstances. To me, it means not having a set idea of how pleasure and happiness must look. If I had 7 things I wanted to complete today (I am self-employed) and someone called up with tickets to a concert or play I wanted to see, I hope I'd say yes, and finish those things tomorrow. If I had a deadline, I might negotiate with another to see if I could be a day late, if that seemed doable.

I'm not advocating irresponsibility. I like the definition of responsibility I learned at a Systems Design class a few years ago: It is liking or disliking the consequences of my actions, and going with that found liking or disliking. If I disliked an associate's displeasure with waiting another day, I would not be responsible if I went to the play anyway. If I liked the joy I'd feel after the play, that could be a responsible action.

Another example: When a friend offers me a ride in the country (I sold my car 9 years ago), I’ll usually drop anything that’s not a have-to. Spontaneity is a delight.
If a housemate has more food than s/he will eat, I’m happy to take yummy leftovers. When another housemate kept the fireplace stoked 5 hours last Friday,
I totally enjoyed it and the popcorn and cocoa he shared.

I don’t want to be pedantic, but I’d love if you thought of examples in your own life that illustrate the guidelines I’ll be sharing—if they are meaningful to you.

Last night, I went to dinner with a man I met on (By the way, the dozens of categories, free, at, make for good connecting also.) Though there wasn’t chemistry, we talked at length about blogs. Are any of you going to the in Seattle Jan. 24-25? If you’d like to meet other local bloggers ahead of time, do call me (206) 938-8385 or email

Guideline 5 and 7 (coming) will address another aspect of what I’ll say next. I LOVE internet resources—probably have 3-4,000 favorites in 30-50+ categories, and love the give and take of passing on fun or educational URLs. So talk to me if you love learning and adventure like I do.

Enough for today. Hope to hear from other web enthusiasts and peace and pleasure lovers. By the way, I’m looking for a man over 54 as a potential romantic partner. Moreah, West Seattle